To the intended families around the world who want to become parents through surrogacy — we know your mind and hearts are full of questions. Who are the women who choose to become surrogates? Why would they choose to help a family have a baby? What motivates them, drives them, how do they overcome challenges and disappointments, and what are their emotions/thought process throughout the journey?
J.N. / 29 yrs old / Lives in Colorado / 1 child
Surrogacy: Twins for international gay couple in 2017.
Worked fulltime during surrogacy.
How did you handle any not-so-positive reactions to your surrogacy?
I didn’t really have any not-so-positive reactions with my surrogacy. It was pretty smooth from start to finish.
Were the Intended Parents in the room when you delivered? If so, what was that like?
No, my Intended Fathers were not in the room. I went into unexpected labor a little early. But the plan was for them to be in the room for delivery. The timing just didn’t work out!
What made you choose the Intended Parents you worked with?
We connected right away and we were on the same page from the time the interview started until this very day. I loved how they were super excited to start a family and how open they were about everything.
E.H. / 30 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy #1: Singleton for international gay couple in 2016.
Surrogacy #2: Beginning sibling journey for same family; expected delivery in 2018. Works fulltime.
How did you handle any not-so-positive reactions to your surrogacy?
I really tried to prepare myself for handling what I would say or do if someone was against surrogacy. Most of the time if I was out and about running errands and someone commented on my pregnancy I would just give the typical response back and not go into detail. Only my close friends and family knew the truth. But when I finally was able to come out and tell other people I was just flooded with good positive feedback. Everyone I told was so amazed by what I was doing and very supportive.
Now that I am into my second surrogacy I am very open with everyone who asks. I feel very comfortable and love telling people about this wonderful journey. I feel lucky that I am around people in my community that support surrogacy.
Were the Intended Parents in the room when you delivered? If so, what was that like?
I am a very open person and I knew going into this that if the parents wanted to be in the room that I would be ok with it. That may not an option for some people but from the beginning I told them they can be all in and see all the gross stuff happening or they can be there after it was all done. The father chose to be in the room for the c-section and managed not to faint! It is a memory that I will never forget with him being there and getting to be the first person to hold his child. For the next baby we are planning the same thing. I feel it helps them connect even more with you and their new baby.
What made you choose the Intended Parents you worked with?
NWSC really knows how to match people up! When I was reading over the IPs letter I felt an instant connection. I felt I had a lot in common with the father and his reason for wanting to start a family. He told me he felt the same way with me. Our first Skype meeting was where we were both like, “yes, this is the right person!” I didn’t go over a bunch of different IP letters because I knew this first one was the right one. And it really has been. We have an amazing relationship and I consider them all like extended family. When you have that special feeling about someone you should go with it.
A.J. / 34 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy #1: Singleton baby for international heterosexual couple in 2017.
Surrogacy #2: Upcoming sibling journey for same family in 2018.
Worked fulltime during surrogacy.
How did you handle any not-so-positive reactions to your surrogacy?
While I was pretty lucky in that I didn’t encounter too much negativity in my own journey, I did have a couple negative comments and really chalked it up to being uneducated on the matter. I understand that what works for some, may not work for others.
Were the Intended Parents in the room when you delivered? If so, what was that like?
We knew going into the journey I was an automatic c-section and also knew only one person would be allowed with me in the operating room for delivery. From the start I always wanted my IP’s to be front and center of the pregnancy as this was their baby. So we gave them the option to choose between the two of them who wanted to be with me. I was comfortable either way. So my IF chose to be with me and was so incredible and supportive. Held my hand and rubbed my forehead while he waited for his little boy. It was a fantastic experience.
What made you choose the Intended Parents you worked with?
When you get profiles they always tell you about the “feeling”. We had received a couple of them we didn’t feel an overwhelming connection with. When my coordinator told me she was sending one over, my email was being strange and I wasn’t receiving it. So I asked her to send it to my husband at work. Naturally he read the profile first and called me immediately and said “they’re it!” To hear him say that and feel his connection I was so excited to read their profile and automatically felt the same. That “feeling” is real! You’ll know it when you find it! Don’t give up on finding that!
M.P. / 37 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 3 children
Surrogacy #1: Twins for an international gay couple in 2015.
Surrogacy #2: Singleton for a domestic gay couple in 2017.
How did you handle any not-so-positive reactions to your surrogacy?
I’m grateful that most of the people I spoke with were very excited about my being a surrogate. My grandma had some reservations about surrogacy in general, and then was not pleased with my carrying for a same-sex couple. I sat down with her and explained the whole surrogacy process, debunking some myths she had and acknowledging her other concerns. At that point, we had to just agree to disagree. My first IFs, one was a prominent politician in Israel. When he returned home, a very conservative journalist posted a very cruel response on Facebook. I’m not very good at holding my tongue, so I responded in length. Through this, I was connected with the international non-profit organization, Men Having Babies, who provides education and financial assistance to gay men pursuing surrogacy. I’ve found that most people who have opposition to surrogacy don’t understand the whole process and are often basing their opinion on the few negative stories in the media. When they’re informed, and see how it works when all parties involved are following ethical guidelines, they come to see what an amazing journey it is.
Were the Intended Parents in the room when you delivered? If so, what was that like?
Yes! My IFs were scheduled to fly up Monday evening. Monday morning, at about 1am, my water broke. All of my previous deliveries were very quick; none of us thought they would make it in time so they decided to just keep their original flight. But, when baby still hadn’t arrived at 11am, they gave in and rented a car and made the drive in record time. As soon as they arrived, we all assumed I would finally relax and baby would arrive in no time. Nope! I labored slowly for a few more hours, then it all came at once. With a few pushes, she was here. We birthed in a birthing center, which was an amazing experience for everyone. For most of the time, my husband was my main support person. He held me up and helped me breath through contractions while my IFs watched by patiently. At first, there were some reservations — it’s a very personal experience to have so many people around. But eventually you get so focused on laboring, you don’t care about taking off your clothes… just get that baby out! This was by easily the most beautiful experience of my life.
What made you choose the Intended Parents you worked with?
My first journey, I was matched through NWSC, and I went with the first profile they showed me — two guys from Israel. They did an excellent job of matching me with a couple that aligned with me in all the major aspects. At first I wasn’t sure about working with an international couple. However, the more my husband I discussed it, the more we knew that was the right choice. A huge reason we wanted to do surrogacy was to provide an example to our children – an example of giving, of how different families are made, of diversity. What better way to do this than with an international couple, especially from a country we knew very little about. When we met for our Skype interview, we just clicked. The conversation flowed nicely and it all felt very comfortable. Initially, I was worried that any couple we worked with might be put off by my husband’s profession — he owns a custom rifle shop. But, my IF said that was actually one of the factors in them wanting to work with us, so it was a sign that it was supposed to be. In addition to the surrogacy journey itself, it was great to make friends across the globe. I was able to visit them in Israel when the babies were about seven months old, and am looking forward to visiting again with my parents and son in a few years.
N.B. / 31 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy: Singleton baby for domestic gay couple
Worked fulltime during surrogacy
How did you handle any not-so-positive reactions to your surrogacy?
My fear of a bad reaction was worse then what actually happened when I announced it. All I received was support and love from those that chose to give it to me. If there was a nay-sayer they kept it to themselves; which was best for them, because I would have taken them off there “soap box”.
Were the Intended Parents in the room when you delivered? If so, what was that like?
Yes, of course they were! Honestly, it wasn’t any different than having any other support person in the room with you. To be a surrogate you have to have given birth before so you learn through your own pregnancy that by the time you are ready to push and delivery the room is so full of nurses and helpers that having two more people there is nothing. They decided to stay in the background until their baby was fully delivered out of respect for my privacy, but I would have been fine with them holding my hand and watching from the front row (as it were).
What made you choose the Intended Parents you worked with?
Their story – it hit me right in the heart. It made both my husband and I choke up a little bit; then when we met them in person the conversations were “easy” and never forced. I was comfortable having them in the room for everything they wanted to be present for and still have a great relationship almost a year later following our delivery.
V.B. / 32 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy 1: Twins for international gay couple in 2014.
Surrogacy 2: Singleton for international gay couple in 2016.
How did you handle any not-so-positive reactions to your surrogacy?
If it was my family that didn’t have great reactions, I spent time explaining to them why surrogacy was the right option for me and my family. I also spent time telling them about the intended parents and how much they longed for a baby of their own, and how fortunate I felt to be able to help them achieve their dreams.
If it was strangers that didn’t have positive reactions to surrogacy, I learned to ignore them. I know that what I was doing was the right thing to do. If you have the ability to help someone, you should.
Were the Intended Parents in the room when you delivered? If so, what was that like?
Sadly my IP’s missed deliveries both times! However, it was really amazing both times. The excitement of them on the phone cheering me on, and then trusting me to take care of their babies outside of the womb until they could fly to Oregon to meet them was very rewarding. I really cherished those moments.
What made you choose the Intended Parents you worked with?
A feeling. I just had this overwhelming feeling and sense that these were the people I was meant to help. With my first couple, I was so excited to hear that they were from Paris, and I was so enchanted with their story and how long they had been together.
With my second couple we met in person the first time and we really had this magnetic energy between us. I could have talked all night with them, and was immediately excited to help them become dads… really based on a “feeling”.
S.T. / 27 yrs old / Lives in California / 2 children
Surrogacy: singleton baby for domestic gay couple in 2016
Stay at home mom during surrogacy
Did your Intended Parents do anything special to help you feel appreciated and to build the relationship? What are some things they should be careful to NOT do?
My IP’s were wonderful about showing their appreciation, not only to me but also to my family. They would send: Fruit and pastries for my pregnancy cravings; Birthday gifts and cards for my children, myself and husband; Mother’s Day gift baskets; Father’s Day cards. The list goes on and on…. needless to say they were very generous! One thing I would be careful not to do is try not to be overbearing. Remember your surrogate has a family of her own, too.
If you experienced a failed transfer or loss, how did this impact your relationship with your Intended Parents?
Our first transfer was unsuccessful, and it was very hard on my family and my IP’s. However, it made our relationship so much stronger. Dealing with such heavy emotions that not many people in our “normal day to day” life can relate to forced us to lean on each other for support.
How did your husband/partner and/or children respond when you discussed becoming a surrogate?
My husband was hesitant at first. I believe he had the normal fears most family does mainly surrounding my health and well-being. And when telling my oldest daughter she was ecstatic! She thought it was so neat that WE were giving another family a baby, she also asked to be educated on the process, which was very meaningful and a great learning opportunity for us as a family.
A.J. / 34 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy #1: Singleton baby for international heterosexual couple in 2017.
Surrogacy #2: Upcoming sibling journey for same family in 2018.
Worked fulltime during surrogacy.
Did your Intended Parents do anything special to help you feel appreciated and to build the relationship? What are some things they should be careful to NOT do?
With my IP’s we always felt very connected like “family” even from the beginning. So during holidays and birthdays we always sent gifts/cards to each other like family would. I loved that part of our relationship. I think if you feel comfortable, surrogates always love feeling appreciated and cared for during this process, I just think it’s important to make sure you’re respectful to any spiritual or religious beliefs.
If you experienced a failed transfer or loss, how did this impact your relationship with your Intended Parents?
We did not experience a failed transfer or loss during our journey but we were both very open with each other about if something like that were to happen. They were so kind as to reassure me that in that situation they knew I did everything and it wouldn’t be of fault of mine. Reassurance is big for surrogates as we carry such a heavy responsibility and is painful for us as well if a failed transfer or loss is experienced.
How did your husband/partner and/or children respond when you discussed becoming a surrogate?
My husband initially just had a lot of questions but has always been my biggest cheerleader and been so active and supportive during this whole process. My kiddos are smaller but we’ve always been extremely open and honest with them about this process because our IP’s would be a part of their lives as well. They’re inquisitive about medications and shots and loved feeling baby kicks and finally hold baby when he finally came. It was one of the most rewarding parts, watching their little eyes see how mommy can give something so special.
N.B. / 31 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy: Singleton baby for domestic gay couple
Worked fulltime during surrogacy
Did your Intended Parents do anything special to help you feel appreciated and to build the relationship?
Yes, they remembered to check in on me and kept my appt in their calendar so they knew what was going on. They also made me feel special by remembering things like my birthday and still to this day send me a little card, note or gift. What are some things they should be careful to NOT do? Go silent! There will be some rough times during this process and we (surrogates) will put a lot of it on ourselves. Let us know that you don’t blame us for the bad and that you care by checking in on us during these times; we worry about you just as much so it is a good time to become closer and come out through the bad together.
If you experienced a failed transfer or loss, how did this impact your relationship with your Intended Parents?
After the first I thought they would blame me and that I had done something wrong. After the second failed transfer I was a ball or worry because they asked for a phone conference one night, but it ended up that they wanted to see me and ask about next steps all as one. Our third attempt was a success!
How did your husband/partner and/or children respond when you discussed becoming a surrogate?
My husband has been my biggest supporter; when I told him he got a little quiet and then smiled and said “of course that id your heart and spirit – let’s do this!” My oldest daughter was glad she wasn’t getting another sibling and was very curious to the process and my youngest was excited to talk to the baby and would tell people that she was going home to her daddies once she was big enough to come out of momma’s tummy. She loved meeting her in the hospital afterward and adores her still.
V.B. / 32 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy 1: Twins for international gay couple in 2014.
Surrogacy 2: Singleton for international gay couple in 2016.
Did your Intended Parents do anything special to help you feel appreciated and to build the relationship? What are some things they should be careful to NOT do?
The most beneficial thing my intended parents did to make me feel special, and to build our relationship, was to make me a priority before, during, and after the pregnancy. International relationships can be difficult to manage, it really takes dedicating time, and effort to that relationship. It’s managing time zones, and work schedules — but every day my IP’s would at the very least send me a text asking how I was feeling, or just letting me know they were thinking about me. It really made a huge difference.
The one thing I experienced that I would be careful to not do is to not promise to visit during the pregnancy, if you are not certain you will be able to do it.
If you experienced a failed transfer or loss, how did this impact your relationship with your Intended Parents?
I’ve been a surrogate twice, and experienced one failed transfer with my second set of IP’s. It was really devastating. After having a successful twin transfer the first time, to then have a failed 1st transfer, the second time I was really surprised, and felt really guilty, and responsible. I felt a lot of pressure as a surrogate for success. More than anything you want to make your IP’s dreams come true, and to fail is hard. Your heart just breaks for them, and it elevates any anxiety for the next transfer because you are so worried it will fail again. I think at first it put some distance on our relationship, which was only just starting, but after having a successful transfer next it really bonded us. It’s difficult, you want to guard your heart from hurt, but so few people can relate to what you are going through that open communication with the IP’s is really what helped.
How did your husband/partner and/or children respond when you discussed becoming a surrogate?
When I first talked about surrogacy my husband really though I was joking. A week later we had our interview with NWSC and he quickly learned I was very serious. He was incredibly supportive, especially after he “met” my IP’s via skype. He couldn’t help but fall in love with them, and hearing their story and how badly they want children he was happy to support me, so I could give them a family. My children were very young the first time I did surrogacy, so I made sure to keep them as involved as possible, and to work on their relationship with my IP’s. They never questioned why I was pregnant for someone else. They knew that we had the perfect family, and that people out there need help to have a family like ours, and that made perfect sense to them.
J.N. / 29 yrs old / Lives in Colorado / 1 child
Surrogacy: Twins for international gay couple in 2017.
Worked fulltime during surrogacy.
Did your Intended Parents do anything special to help you feel appreciated and to build the relationship? What are some things they should be careful to NOT do?
My IF’s made me feel really special and appreciated by showering me with multiple prenatal massages. The massages helped on days where I felt so out of it and uncomfortable with my surrotwins. They also sent weekly organic fresh fruit boxes! I loved it. It continued until the boys were almost two months old. It was the best thing I could have ever gotten during my pregnancy because I craved fruit like crazy.
How did your husband/partner and/or children respond when you discussed becoming a surrogate?
My husband was like “sure, if that’s what you want to do.” At first my son didn’t understand but after a few times explaining it to him he was happy. He helped me a lot throughout the journey. He talked to our surrotwins, kissed them goodnight and told them he loved them. The sweetest thing you could have ever seen.
E.H. / 30 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy #1: Singleton for international gay couple in 2016.
Surrogacy #2: Beginning sibling journey for same family; expected delivery in 2018.
Works fulltime.
Did your Intended Parents do anything special to help you feel appreciated and to build the relationship? What are some things they should be careful to NOT do?
My IPs and I have a very special relationship. Since I’ve known them they have always sent me something thoughtful and sweet for my birthday. I also do the same. It’s nice to let each other know how much you appreciate them and that you care. With any major events in my life they are always checking in and seeing how things went. They are always supportive. We have not stumbled across anything that has been awkward. I think just listening to each other’s feelings and not being judgemental really helps the relationship.
If you experienced a failed transfer or loss, how did this impact your relationship with your Intended Parents?
Our first transfer was successful but we lost it after a few weeks. I was really upset and felt like I failed them. The night I was in the emergency room for the pain and bleeding and they confirmed I was losing the baby the father called me. He expressed such sympathy for my pain and said such uplifting words to me. Knowing that I still had their support to try it again really helped the healing process. Luckily our second transfer ended up with the birth of a beautiful healthy baby girl. Everything happens for a reason.
How did your husband/partner and/or children respond when you discussed becoming a surrogate?
I am a single mother and both of my parents passed when I was younger. My biggest supporter is my best friend who lives with us. When I first told him about it he laughed and said I would never be able to give up a baby that I carried for 9 months. I think that I surprised him with how strong I was emotionally. I do have a bond and a love for the child I had but I also have that with the parents. I was giving them the gift of joy that I have with my own children. That is the most special feeling you can share with someone.
S.T. / 27 yrs old / Lives in California / 2 children
Surrogacy: singleton baby for domestic gay couple in 2016
Stay at home mom during surrogacy
Why did you first become interested in surrogacy?
I first became a surrogate because in April of 2013 my brother came out as a gay man. Growing up and into our early adult years we had always talked about having kids of our own, so him coming out and knowing that he would like to have biological children, I knew that he was going to have to enlist the help of a surrogate when he and his partner were ready to start a family. Knowing that there were women out there that would help my own brother in such a way made me want to help others in every way that I could. Since pregnancy came naturally to me it only seemed fitting to help as a surrogate.
What would you say to potential IPs who may be nervous about surrogacy?
You have EVERY right to be nervous, surrogacy is a nerve-wracking experience for the intended parents AND surrogate alike, however to help ease your nerves communication is key. You will hear that A LOT in this process but it is true! Communicate with your surrogate, with your clinic, and with Northwest Surrogacy Center. Everyone has gathered to help YOU don’t be afraid to reach out!
How did you feel when you saw your IPs hold their baby for the first time?
Seeing my IP’s hold their daughter for the first time was such a magical, rewarding, humbling, and pure AMAZING feeling all wrapped into one! As an IP you can be removed from the “day to day” of pregnancy, but once my surrogate baby was born I could see a switch flip on, and both my IP’s immediately became parents and knowing the huge role I played in creating this family felt nothing short of a miracle.
A.J. / 34 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy #1: Singleton baby for international heterosexual couple in 2017.
Surrogacy #2: Upcoming sibling journey for same family in 2018.
Worked fulltime during surrogacy.
Why did you first become interested in surrogacy?
I first became interested in surrogacy when, even before my own kids were born, I watched a dear friend struggle with her infertility and tried so desperately to have her own baby. I didn’t know much about how it all worked until several years later when my sister in law approached me and told me SHE was going to be a surrogate. I asked to know everything about it and knew right then that surrogacy was something I was passionate about pursuing.
What would you say to potential IPs who may be nervous about surrogacy?
I would tell IP’s that nerves are super normal, but ask any and every question to help give you the best and informed mind when traveling along your surrogacy journey!
How did you feel when you saw your IPs hold their baby for the first time?
Man, that’s an easy question but hard to put those feelings into words. That moment was life changing for me. You plan for that moment from the start of your journey but when it actually happens, everything just comes full circle and it’s like the world just stops. You see this beautiful little family you had a part in creating and emotions run so high, it’s incredible. One of the best feelings in the world.
N.B. / 31 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy: Singleton baby for domestic gay couple
Worked fulltime during surrogacy.
Why did you first become interested in surrogacy?
I get asked this question A LOT; naturally people are curious as to why a woman would do this. When I was younger I was told by a number of doctors that conceiving my own children would require assistance and that crushed me. As I accepted that and decided to move forward in my life without kids (for the time) I found out who I really was – then I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter without ANY assistance; shocked would be an understatement for how I felt. 5 years after my oldest was born I then had my 2nd and last daughter. I remember hearing an ad for Northwest Surrogacy Center on the radio and did my research. I wasn’t sure if I’d qualify, but to be one of the 5% of women that get to help create a family is by far the biggest honor I have had. I can make families; that is why I do this and I am proud!
What would you say to potential IPs who may be nervous about surrogacy?
I was, too! We all are, or were, at some point. I was nervous to do the first shot, to get the first blood draw for confirmation, to hear if we would try for a second and then third attempt. Northwest Surrogacy Center was there for me when I didn’t know what to ask or how things were going to go. Lean on your case manager. They are your support team, your bull dogs, and your friend – they have been through this before.
How did you feel when you saw your IPs hold their baby for the first time?
There are no words… I had been with my intended parents for almost two years by the time we delivered and to be able to see them hold their daughter was priceless. My husband and I both cried — it was that perfect of a moment. There was also some relief that we had “made it” to the finish line without any complications or scares — our pregnancy had been smooth and delivery was earlier than we expected and planned, but what little baby ever wants to work on a schedule?!
V.B. / 32 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy 1: Twins for international gay couple in 2014.
Surrogacy 2: Singleton for international gay couple in 2016.
Why did you first become interested in surrogacy?
I had recently become a stay at home mom after my daughter was born, and I got into the habit of watching documentaries after my babies went to bed. One night I watched a documentary called “Little Man” and I watched this family struggle to have a family through surrogacy. I knew immediately that I needed to do that. I had great pregnancies and was healthy and active. I felt compelled in that moment to help someone else have a family.
What would you say to potential IPs who may be nervous about surrogacy?
Even before I was a surrogate I completely understood how nerve wracking this journey would be to intended parents. It’s a huge responsibility to make someone’s family complete and I was so honored to be trusted with helping them in this journey. Open communication and really making my IP’s a priority really calmed all of our nerves. Getting to know each other completely was key to a successful journey for us. Both sets of my IPs really liked to Skype with my entire family. It helped them get to know all of us and see how much we all cared about them and making them parents of a healthy baby.
How did you feel when you saw your IPs hold their baby for the first time?
Every time I think about the moment I handed the babies over to their parents I get a little emotional. It was the moment we had all been waiting for. The look on their faces as they held their sweet, much anticipated children was so moving. I have never seen anything like it in my life. After my first journey, the dads held their girls so lovingly for the first time I knew I had to be a surrogate again. It was like giving someone the most anticipated present. Watching them touch their little faces and give them kisses all over still makes me happy. They still look at them the same way, with so much love. I am the lucky one in this journey.
M.P. / 37 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 3 children
Surrogacy #1: Twins for an international gay couple in 2015.
Surrogacy #2: Singleton for a domestic gay couple in 2017.
Why did you first become interested in surrogacy?
Shortly after my first was born, a friend was looking into egg donation. In our research, I saw an ad for surrogacy. “I can do that,” I thought. I had a great pregnancy with an easy labor and delivery. I knew I wasn’t done with my own family, so put it off for a while. A few months after my third was born, my husband and I knew our family was complete. But I wasn’t done being pregnant—I love being pregnant—so I started researching surrogacy again. As much as they drive me crazy, I can’t imagine my life without my kids. Being able to help someone build their family, while getting to do something I love and help my own family financially, is an honor. My children have grown so much from the experience as well. Their concept of family has expanded, and I’ve been able to show them through example about giving where and how you can.
What would you say to potential IPs who may be nervous about surrogacy?
Take your time to research what is best for you. There are lots of resources and connections. Talk to other people who have gone through the experience and listen to their counsel. Surrogacy is not something to be taken lightly. It takes time and patience and trust—there’s a reason it’s called a journey! But, in the end it is an amazing way to build your family. The women I’ve met who are surrogates are some of the most caring and wonderful women I’ve ever known and are honored to be your child’s first babysitter.
How did you feel when you saw your IPs hold their baby for the first time?
My heart just melted, and it still does every time I get a picture. Unfortunately, my IPs were not present for the birth and the twins were in the NICU when their dads arrived. But seeing their faces and watching them with their babies made every shot and vomit and ache and pain along the way worth it. Even more so, though, was when I got to visit them at their home in Israel. Not only did I help them become parents, I helped make an aunt and cousins and grandparents. Those family connections are so amazing. It was fantastic to see the amount of love surrounding the twins and how much joy they added to the rest of the family, and really enhanced the whole experience for me.
J.N. / 29 yrs old / Lives in Colorado / 1 child
Surrogacy: Twins for international gay couple in 2017.
Worked fulltime during surrogacy.
Why did you first become interested in surrogacy?
I have friends who cannot have kids. I wanted to help someone have a family who’d always dreamt of having one but couldn’t physically have one, whether if it was for health/medical reasons or simply because of who they love. I am a loving, caring person who loves helping anyone in any way possible. When surrogacy crossed my path, I was more than happy to learn about the process and was eager to get started.
What would you say to potential IPs who may be nervous about surrogacy?
Everyone in this process is nervous in more ways than one. Be open with your decisions and suggestions. Put everything on the table and come to an understanding that suits everyone involved. Establishing a relationship with your soon-to-be-surrogate helps ease tensions between everyone. Communication in this process plays a big role. Updates on both ends are great to hear, even if you have the agency involved. Be as involved as you can. I have found that the app WhatsApp helped a lot with international IPs so you can communicate a daily basis.
How did you feel when you saw your IPs hold their baby for the first time?
It was warm feelings of joy, love, excitement – and it was emotional. Too many feelings to name. I looked at them and saw their faces light up as they touched, held and smiled at their babies for the first time. I thought to myself, “I am the reason they are this happy.” The family they wanted is complete because of the opportunity they gave me and my dedication and commitment. To see so much love in their eyes for the babies they’d just met made me want to cry. Tears of joy, of course!
E.H. / 30 yrs old / Lives in Oregon / 2 children
Surrogacy #1: Singleton for international gay couple in 2016.
Surrogacy #2: Beginning sibling journey for same family; expected delivery in 2018.
Works fulltime.
Why was I first interested in surrogacy?
After the birth of my daughter I felt so much joy. I really wanted to share that joy with everyone. I had researched surrogacy a little bit but I was still unsure. Then I had my son and the joyous feeling came back even stronger. I knew I needed to help a family that couldn’t get pregnant on their own. I wanted another family to feel the way I felt when I first met my children.
What would I say to potential IPs who may be nervous about surrogacy?
It can definitely be a bumpy road but in the end, it’s all worth it. My journey with my intended parents was so amazing. The journey was very long but the moment they held their baby girl for the first time made me feel that joyous feeling all over again. I accomplished what I wanted — to help start a family. We didn’t give up even though there were a few hard times. Together we got through each obstacle and overcame them all.
People ask me would I do it all again? Yes! And actually, I’m currently on bed rest typing this because I just did another embryo transfer for the same family.
How did I feel when I saw my IPs hold their baby for the first time?
Joy-Love-Amazed-Excited-Wonderful. So many emotions at once. I knew from that moment on that their lives would never be the same again. They could love this baby the way I love my children. That feeling of emptiness that they had before the baby could finally be filled. I felt so much happiness that I could have exploded happy hearts all around the hospital.
Intended Parents Quick Links:
Phone 503-233-2818
Fax 503-214-1177
info@nwsurrogacycenter.com
Oregon Office
2722 NE 33rd Ave
Portland, OR 97212
California Office
1801 Bush St. Unit 220
San Francisco, CA 94109
Washington Office
603 Stewart St. #400
Seattle, WA 98101
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A lack of surrogacy-friendly medical insurance does not impact surrogate compensation.
wellness info…