Erin's Story
“After three journeys, I knew I wanted to stay involved in the surrogacy world, even though I was finished being a surrogate myself. Working in the industry has given me a way to do that every day.”
My Journey Through Three Surrogacies
I first heard about surrogacy in an undergraduate Sex and Medical Ethics class. At the time, it was all very theoretical for me, but for some reason, it always stayed in the back of my mind.
I’ve been interested in fertility and reproductive health for as long as I can remember. After having my own kids, I really fell in love with all things pregnancy and postpartum. I genuinely enjoyed being pregnant and found myself wanting to experience it again, even though my family was complete. Surrogacy felt like a way to experience pregnancy again while doing something incredibly meaningful for someone else.
I have two kids of my own, who are 11 and almost 8, and when I first decided to become a surrogate, my family and friends definitely had questions. Most of their concerns were about making sure I was safe and protected throughout the process. But after watching me go through my first journey, their feelings really changed. Three surrogacies later, my family and friends absolutely love surrogacy and have embraced my intended parents as part of our extended family.
My Surrogacy Journeys
I’ve had the opportunity to carry for three different families. I carried two children for gay intended parents in California, and my most recent journey was for a single gay intended parent in Illinois. Each journey was different, but one of my favorite parts of all three was the relationships I developed with my intended parents.
My first surrogacy happened during COVID, so we spent a lot of time texting and talking on FaceTime. Once we were finally able to meet in person, it felt like seeing old friends rather than people I had only known through a surrogacy journey. By the end of my second surrogacy, our relationship had grown into something really special. We had met each other’s friends and families, traveled together with our kids, and bonded over our shared love of pastries and basically anything sweet.
During my third surrogacy, we met in person for the embryo transfer, and my intended father came to visit for the anatomy scan. Before delivery, he came to stay in the area a couple of weeks early, and we had so much fun together. He played board games with my kids, and we went on daily hikes together trying to convince the baby that it was time to come out!
Just this summer, my family even went to Illinois to visit him and the baby. We’re all still in contact today, and I get frequent photos and life updates about all of the babies, even though my oldest surrogate baby is about to start kindergarten! I think relationships naturally shift a little once a baby is born, but I have no doubt that we are all bonded for life.
Do I qualify as a
surrogate?
Ready to become a parent?
The Moment Everything Becomes Real
One of the most incredible parts of being a surrogate is seeing your intended parents hold their baby for the first time. It’s hard to even put into words. The amount of love in the delivery room just doubles in volume.
One of my favorite memories is watching my first intended parents see their baby for the first time. I remember looking around the room and seeing everyone take a moment to watch them. Even the nurses and my OB were choked up. There is just so much emotion and love in that moment, and getting to be a part of it is something I’ll never forget.
I knew before my first surrogacy was even over that I wanted to do another. It was the most rewarding thing I have ever done, after becoming a parent myself.
Finding a New Way to Be Part of Surrogacy
After three journeys, I knew I wanted to stay involved in the surrogacy world, even though I was finished being a surrogate myself. Working in the industry has given me a way to do that every day.
I get to hear birth stories, see those first photos from intended parents who are completely in love with their babies, and watch relationships between intended parents and surrogates develop throughout the process. It’s an honor to have even a small role in helping bring those babies into the world.
I chose to work at NWSC because it was consistently mentioned online as one of the best agencies in my area, particularly because of its emphasis on ethics. From my very first contact with NWSC, I knew I wanted to be part of the team.
Having experienced surrogacy myself, I think communication, transparency, and experience are incredibly important when choosing an agency. The process can be very nuanced, and a good agency should have the experience to talk through important decisions, explain the options, and help families feel confident in the choices they make.
Supporting Surrogates Through Their Journeys
One of the things I love about NWSC is that we truly are rooting for our surrogates every step of the way.
We want our surrogates to feel like they’re part of a community, because they are! We have surrogate meetups and events, and we love sending little notes and gifts. But I think some of the most meaningful support happens behind the scenes, too. We share our surrogates’ successes with one another and celebrate right alongside them.
My favorite part of my job is getting to see the relationships between intended parents and surrogates develop as their journey progresses. And I will always love that first phone call with a surrogate after she has delivered. There’s something really special about hearing her voice after everything she has been through and knowing that she just helped someone become a parent.
I also absolutely adore the funny, kind, smart, and endlessly caring people on my team. I feel so lucky that I get to work alongside such a cool group every day. Surrogacy has been such a huge part of my life, and I feel incredibly lucky that I get to experience it from both sides—as a surrogate and now as someone helping other families through their own journeys.