Ashley's Story
“Words can’t fully capture what you get to experience as a surrogate, and that’s why I not only hope to do it again, but also love sharing my journey with others.”
I’d heard about surrogacy here and there, but I didn’t think it was an option for me after having a tubal ligation when my youngest was born. Once I understood the difference between traditional and gestational surrogacy, everything changed. As it turns out, you can still be a gestational surrogate even with a tubal ligation. That’s when I knew I wanted to help someone grow their family.
I became interested in surrogacy after watching loved ones go through infertility and loss. It’s such a difficult and emotional journey, and realizing that I could carry, and truly loved being pregnant, made me want to help someone else become a parent and experience all the amazing things that come with having a child.
I have three children, two that I carried and birthed, and one amazing bonus daughter. I’ve been married to my husband for almost five years, and we’ve been together for nine. Fortunately, everyone in my life was incredibly supportive when I shared that I wanted to become a surrogate. I’ve received so much encouragement, and even now, four years and two journeys later, I still get a little bashful about the praise.
When I started exploring surrogacy, a friend I went to high school with recommended NWSC based on her own experience. After doing some research and connecting with their story and why they do what they do, I knew it was the right choice for me.
I love how attentive and involved the team at NWSC is throughout every stage, the application process, matching, IVF, pregnancy, and even after the baby arrives. I never feel silly asking questions, and I always get a quick response. I’ve also really loved the wellness events they host, where surrogates can come together and share their raw experiences and emotions without judgment. It also feels like NWSC is very proactive when it comes to feedback and making updates to improve the surrogate experience.
Having completed two surrogacy journeys, I can confidently say the matching process was incredibly smooth and efficient both times. For my first journey, I was nervous. I always describe it as feeling a lot like online dating (which I’ve never done). You look at a profile, they look at yours, and then a match meeting is set. Having the support of my NWSC coordinator to guide me through reviewing profiles and asking questions made all the difference. It felt intimidating at first, but once you trust the agency’s screening process, you realize everyone is working toward the same goal. By my second journey, being a seasoned pro at that point, I was much less nervous and matched even faster.
Do I qualify as a
surrogate?
Ready to become a parent?
For both journeys, I only needed one match meeting to know these were the couples I wanted to carry for. Having the NWSC coordinator lead the meeting helped keep me grounded, but the nerves are still very real. You’re trying to make a great impression, ask important questions, and make sure your own questions are answered. My husband was a total nervous wreck too; he could barely talk! But when the conversation flows and you feel that emotional connection with the intended parents, you just know it’s the right match.
My first journey was for a heterosexual couple based in Oregon, and my second was for a heterosexual couple based in Washington. Both were within driving distance of me, and I think that made the experience even more special.
I was very close with both sets of intended parents. One thing I worried about going into surrogacy was feeling like they might want to manage what I did or what I ate, but I never felt that way at all. In fact, they were incredibly reassuring and supportive, especially when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. They sent recipes, grocery orders, and even a diabetic-friendly meal subscription. I truly felt so lucky to have such kind and attentive intended parents.
I still see my first set of intended parents and their sweet baby a few times each year, and we frequently share family updates over text. I’m currently only a few weeks postpartum from my second journey, but I already feel very close to those intended parents as well and am receiving updates on the baby and how they’re doing as a family of four.
Seeing your intended parents hold their baby for the first time is such an emotional experience, but it’s also my favorite part. For both of my journeys, mom and dad were in the delivery room and able to do skin-to-skin right away. I cried while they cried (and so did my husband). For me, it’s not a sad cry, it’s a “finally” cry. They are finally meeting the baby they’ve dreamed of for years, something they may have once thought wasn’t possible, and I was able to help give them that moment.
During my first surrogacy journey, I already knew it wouldn’t be my last (if re-approved, of course). I love being pregnant, and the entire experience was incredibly special. From meeting the intended parents and hearing about their hopes for a child, to seeing their joy at the first heartbeat, to witnessing that skin-to-skin moment, it’s all so meaningful. Words can’t fully capture what you get to experience as a surrogate, and that’s why I not only hope to do it again, but also love sharing my journey with others.
If I had one message for someone considering surrogacy, it would be this: just do it. Find a surrogate friend, ask all the questions, and go for it.