Kelli's Story

I was paired with the most beautiful intended parents from France who had been trying for almost ten years to conceive. I was immediately drawn to them and wanted more than anything for their long wait to be over. We emailed every weekend (and still do so) about everything; the baby of course, recipes, vacations, family, and we developed such a unique friendship. I began the medications, and between the parents, NWSC, and family, I had people checking on me often to ensure everything felt right. We had the first transfer in June of 2015 and I was confirmed pregnant. It was an amazing feeling knowing we were on our way. Unfortunately we lost the baby the following August. It was an event that was always a possibility, but it still caught me off guard. It was the only fear I had going into the process and it had happened. I could not believe the outpouring of support the IPs and I received from all the agencies. The IPs even extended their condolences to me, which is the least selfish thing I have ever experienced. They were eager for another transfer and we tried again in February of 2016. From the success of the second transfer to the birth, the little one grew perfectly and was wonderfully (and thankfully) easy to carry every step of the way. I gave birth to a little girl just 4 days before my birthday in October of 2016 (almost exactly 4 weeks early). Unfortunately due to the rapidity of the birth from start of labor to arrival, the parents were unable to attend, a moment I’d wanted so badly to witness. We sent them many pictures and offered to care for the baby until they arrived, a task I was happy to do since I just LOVE babies anyways. It was close to midnight for the IPs, so they wished us a good day and signed off by saying excitedly, “Take care of our little girl!” My heart swelled for them.

Due to her prematurity, the baby had some difficulties breathing on her own and had to be whisked away in middle of the night to a proper NICU almost 2 hours away. I believe hormones played a role, but this was the only moment in my surrogacy that I felt helpless. I had cared for this little being for almost 9 months and protected her, but now I couldn’t do anything to help her, and her IPs were not yet here to hold her. My husband and children (who were 5 and 3 at the time) had to go home and I was suddenly alone with the thought that I had failed. In hindsight, I know that this thought was misguided, but I was devastated…and very concerned for the baby, even though doctors and staff assured me many times that she would be just fine. It was a unique emotion, but the other hospital called me regularly to update her status (she was off of oxygen by the time she arrived and was doing perfectly!) and the IPs and I talked as much as possible until they arrived. As soon as I was well enough to leave the hospital, I immediately traveled to the NICU. Baby girl and her parents were all cozy in their own private room. I had missed the moment they were united as a family for the first time, the moment I’d dreamed about since day one, but it didn’t matter. You could almost feel the love and excitement in the room: the father looking over his baby girl in admiration; the mother, bottle-feeding her baby, whispering terms of endearment to someone she’d only been able to dream about until then. It was almost overwhelming. The baby was released from the hospital in less than a week, and she is now home with two loving parents and an extended group of family and friends that have waited years for her arrival.

For me, surrogacy was a great experience I hope to repeat again one day when my husband and I both finish school (hopefully debt-free thanks to the compensation!). I never felt attached to the baby in the same way I felt attached to my own, but I did get very attached to the adventure. The only thing that surprised me (besides my water breaking 4 weeks early!) was the quantity of people who wished to ask me questions about surrogacy. I was always thrilled to discuss any questions anyone had, and respectfully listen to those that wanted to state their opinions. There were a few individuals who said I would regret it, but I am happy to state that I definitely do not, and knew I never would.

I will forever be thankful for the opportunity to bring such a loved baby into this world. My husband, extended family, and friends knew this was something I had wanted to do and I had their support immediately. I will forever be thankful for that as well. We were all able to grow in this experience, and it taught us a greater appreciation for what we have and who we are. Surrogacy helped me appreciate the profound luck that many of us have with conceiving and birthing our children and helped me bring about a greater respect for those that cannot. I think most surrogates, myself included, tend to be bashful about what they are doing, but a message to all past, current, and potential surrogates: be so proud of yourself for what you have done or are doing. Children are an incredible and precious gift; without you, without agencies such as NWSC, these little gifts would not be possible. It takes great bravery for surrogates and intended parents alike to begin this incredible journey and NWSC is there (professionally and lovingly) every step of the way, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.