
What Are the Pros and Cons of Surrogacy?

Tessa Coffey
Surrogacy is a big decision, and it’s a deeply personal one. Whether you’re hoping to grow your family or thinking about helping someone else do the same, the benefits of surrogacy are real and lasting. Still, before embarking on this journey, you must fully consider the pros and cons of surrogacy to decide whether this life-changing path is right for you.
From medical and legal coordination to emotional support and communication needs, let’s explore the pros and cons of surrogacy to help you make an informed, confident decision—whether you’re becoming a parent or helping others build a family.
The Pros of Surrogacy for Intended Parents
For couples and individuals facing barriers to pregnancy, surrogacy can help them realize their dreams of parenthood. The positives of surrogacy offer intended parents many meaningful benefits:
- Path to parenthood. Surrogacy provides those who are unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy the opportunity to have and raise a child.
- Biological connection. Gestational surrogacy can allow one or both parents to share a genetic link with their baby.
- Personal involvement. Intended parents can be deeply involved throughout the pregnancy, from medical appointments to the birth.
- Higher pregnancy success rates. Fully screened surrogates with a history of healthy pregnancies make surrogacy more successful than many fertility treatments.
- Established legal protections. Surrogacy benefits from clear, thoughtful legal agreements outlining expectations, responsibilities, and parental rights, providing peace of mind.
The positives of surrogacy provide intended parents the chance to grow their family with guidance, support, and meaningful involvement from start to finish.
The Cons of Surrogacy for Intended Parents
The advantages of surrogacy are substantial for prospective parents. Yet it’s essential they fully understand and consider the potential challenges of surrogacy, too. Surrogacy is deeply rewarding, but it comes with emotional, financial, and logistical considerations that require careful planning and support:
- Financial costs. Surrogacy is expensive. The costs include agency services, legal fees, medical procedures, and surrogate compensation.
- Complex legal and medical logistics. Surrogacy requires coordination with multiple professionals, including fertility clinics, attorneys, and case managers. Working with an experienced agency greatly simplifies the process.
- Limited control during pregnancy. Intended parents are often highly involved, but they must also trust their surrogate to make everyday decisions about her health and well-being.
- Timing and patience. The process takes time—often 12 to 18 months from start to finish. This includes screenings, legal steps, medical preparations, and matching you with the right surrogate for your family-building journey—all before pregnancy even begins.
- Unexpected challenges. With such a long and complex process, there are often unexpected challenges. Those might include miscommunication with your surrogate, multiple transfer attempts before a pregnancy is achieved, or billing errors with the surrogate’s insurance policy. Again, working with an experienced agency to guide you through the ups and downs is key to making the process less stressful.
Despite the potential negatives of surrogacy, many new parents describe it as one of the most meaningful experiences of their lives. If you feel called to help others grow their family through surrogacy, understanding the surrogate mother’s pros and cons can help you decide if this path is right for you.
The Pros of Surrogacy for the Surrogate
Many women who choose to become surrogates describe the experience as one of the most meaningful and fulfilling chapters of their lives. For them, the benefits of surrogacy are emotional, personal, and even transformative.
Here are the most commonly shared positives of surrogacy from the surrogate’s perspective:
- Helping others. One of the most powerful motivators for surrogates is the opportunity to help others. Surrogates describe becoming a parent as one of the best moments of their lives and getting to help someone have that experience is incredibly fulfilling.
- Relationships and Community. Most surrogates develop a warm and positive relationship with their intended family during the process, and many connections turn into lifelong friendships. At NWSC, surrogates are part of an exclusive community of like-minded women supporting each other. Working with a good agency can provide in-person and online opportunities for surrogates to get to know and celebrate each other.
- Enjoying pregnancy again. Surrogacy allows women who love being pregnant—but are finished growing their own families—to experience pregnancy again in a new and meaningful way.
- Structured support. Working with an agency like Northwest Surrogacy Center, surrogates receive comprehensive support throughout the journey. This includes legal guidance, medical coordination, emotional care, and case management.
- Compensation and practical benefits. Surrogates receive fair, structured compensation. Surrogate mother pay supports financial goals such as paying off debt, saving for a home, or investing in their family’s future. A competitive surrogate compensation package includes direct payments for your time and effort AND lost wages, childcare reimbursement, and travel expenses. The intended parents will cover any medical and legal expenses, and you get to keep all of your direct surrogate compensation.
Surrogacy is a life-changing gift to intended parents. For surrogates, it can also be a journey of personal growth, connection, and fulfillment.
The Cons of Surrogacy for the Surrogate
As rewarding as surrogacy can be, prospective surrogates should also consider the physical, emotional, and practical challenges involved. Understanding the potential drawbacks can help you make the right choice for yourself and your family.
Here are the negatives of surrogacy to keep in mind:
- Physical demands. Surrogacy requires medical screenings, hormone therapy, and an embryo transfer before pregnancy even begins.
- Emotional complexity. Surrogates know they will not raise the child, but carrying a baby for someone else can still bring up unexpected emotions. Support from professionals, family, and the surrogacy agency is critical.
- Time commitment: The entire surrogacy process—from application to recovery—can take over a year. It requires appointments, communication with intended parents, and sometimes travel for medical procedures.
- Lifestyle impact. Pregnancy requires significant time and energy. Surrogates often balance work, childcare, and other responsibilities while managing physical and emotional demands.
- Outside perception. While surrogacy is increasingly accepted, some may not understand or support your decision. A strong support system is essential.
- Unexpected challenges. Surrogates, in addition to intended parents, often experience unexpected challenges. Those could also include miscommunication with the parents, multiple transfer attempts before a pregnancy is achieved, or billing errors. Again, working with an experienced agency to guide you through the ups and downs is key to making the process less stressful.
The challenges are very real. Yet, most surrogates say the positives of surrogacy outweigh the difficulties—especially with the right support and preparation. In fact, many surrogates return to NWSC for multiple journeys because the experience was so positive. Understanding both the pros and cons of surrogacy is key to making the decision that’s right for you.
Should You Choose Surrogacy?
Whether you’re considering building your family through surrogacy or helping someone else grow theirs, it’s a life-changing experience. The pros and cons of surrogacy for both intended parents and surrogates are deeply personal.
If you’re exploring surrogacy, take time to reflect on your values, goals, and support system. Ask questions. Learn about the process. And most importantly, find a trusted agency that will walk beside you every step of the way.
At Northwest Surrogacy Center, we’re here to provide compassionate guidance and comprehensive support—from your first questions through the final steps of this extraordinary journey.